Why am I pissed off now??

I am pissed off now because I have laid my cards on the table with Mr M and told him there is no way I am going to start anything even if he wants to because I am too aware of me at the moment to even consider anything that could hurt me.

I suppose I kind of thought that he did want more in my own sub-concious even though I really did know it wouldn't lead to anything at all, but yes now I feel used, ok I maybe used him too but the texting somehow doesn't seem such fun anymore.

Bear in mind I really fancy this guy and thats what makes it so damn hard, I actually thought he was interested but clearly he is flattered and just wants some female attention which I have been giving him by the bucket load, even the smutty pics which I might add I have received of him also...

I am getting inundated with texts since I laid my self bare, now he is worried the texts are going to stop, oh well he will have to go back to top shelf and DVD for his kicks now.

I really want to cut this dead now but feel I can't because we have known each other so long it's a shame to lose the friendship, it kind of feels like we have crossed that line now.

I couldn't do anything at the moment anyway because of some gyno problems I am having, so it's pretty crap for me getting turned on too.

Oh I am waffling now I just don't know where to go from here now without being rude....lol.....I am also just so bloody tired that is not helping matters and I feel like crying through pure tiredness nothing else.

Oh well tomorrow is another day, good nights sleep and things will appear different I am sure.....xx

Thanks for letting me vent my spleen to you all....