Bad Day/Good Day

I had a bad day today, I have this real fear of being in the outside world at the moment, this is so strange for me and probably the hardest part of the depression to deal with.

I have always been so sociable, loved being round friends, loved making new friends, loved being around people full stop.

Suddenly I can't even be bothered with best friends, I can't find things to say to them I am stuck for words and want to go away and hide away from the big wide world.

I have been out for the day today and from leaving home at 11.30 by 11.40 I wanted to be back in my safe and secure world I call home. It's so wierd and I have never felt anything like it before I just get this really pannicky feeling that I need to be at home and not anywhere else.

I find it very difficult in queues of any kind either in a Supermarket or in a public place it starts me off on a panic attack.

I just want to get back that person that loved life and loved everything and everyone in it.