Saturday 26 January 2008

Widdower

How much do I love this man, been out tonight went round the usual haunts with BF and met up with the above now he works on the rigs and he wasn't supposed to be home this weekend but his wife died two years ago as of Tuesday which ironically enough is also my mums b'day of breast cancer and his daughter had a scare last week so he came home early.

So tonight I have bumped into him and the really crap part of this is I still love him so much, he touched me in a way that no one has touched me for a long time.

The worst thing is I was taking the piss of out of him for his long neck hair and I had to say that no matter what he looked like I still loved him and to top it all he replied with he still loves me.

I just can't seem to shift him from my mind no matter how hard I try, he doesn't appear for months but I still think about him.

He turned my world upside down and he still does everytime I see him.

I don't even know what it is that makes me like this but he is a good looking guy and I love him and it's shit because I know I will never have him.

I have hiccups now and it's driving me insane, this is a very pissed up post so i hope it makes sense..

11 comments:

Elaine Denning said...

It's awful when you can't let somebody go completely. We seem to trot on in life quite happily and then they show up and turn everything upside down, don't they? Closure is easier said than done.

I've been flicking though your archives today. Thanks for filling up my Saturday morning!

Dark Side said...

Miss - I know, I am absolutely fine when I don't see him but the minute I do it all comes flooding back. I thought we managed closure in France last year but obviously not.

Archives! Glad you enjoyed can you believe it nearly been a year and oh how things have changed, I feel a post coming on now thanks for the inspiration..xx

A Lighter Life... said...

Awww, sorry to hear you feeling like this, Emma. It's horrible when you can't let someone go...

As *Miss* said; closure is easier said than done, eh?

Chin up chuck!

Lots of hugs...

LL x

BenefitScroungingScum said...

I'm sorry to hear your feeling like this, I can empathise. Moving on only seems to come when its ready. Hugs BG x

SIMON said...

That post was obviously needed Emma if it helps sort you out in any way.
So sorry to hear that he's making you feel that way, it's hard when things creep up on you like that, but they happen for a reason.
Good luck in moving on.

Lady in red said...

I can completely understand it was like that for me when I got an unexpected email from swinger a year after I last saw him. we have agreed to be friends but everytime I see his name it sends me into I dont know its not panic its something else like the world stops my heart misses a few beats and although I know he has no intention of coming back to live in the UK I can't let him go even though other men have come and gone in the time since I last saw him.

I am sorry you are feelng this but if you are anything like me then ti is a mixture of sadness and elation very confusing emotional time.

hugs

kingmagic said...

It does get easier with time...although you still think of them.

Better to have loved and lost and all that...yet sometimes I,m not too sure.

Love is the greatest and also the scariest emotion we have.

cheekyfaces said...

Awful feeling that.....realising after many years that you still love someone. x

Anonymous said...

thats a hard one, what happend when you both said that, did you have a hug? or did the words just hang in the air?

Evening said...

I am not sure that a broken heart ever completely heals. I have had that one love that evades and haunts you and never seems to end. Sometimes it is such a hopeless feeling. I am not sure about the "it is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved.." There is alot of hurt involved in the losing, isn't there? My arms are reaching out to hug you EMMA. I hope you can feel them.
xo

Dark Side said...

LL - I am fine really just a bit of a drunken post..xx

Bendy - I am ok really..xx

Si - You know what excessive alcohol does to me...xx

LiR - It's just so crap isn't wanting those feelings to go away..xx

KM - Your not wrong there, it's bloody painful is love..xx

Cheeky - Its not that long ago really and we weren't together that long..xx

Wayne - We hugged, but he may still love me but he isn't in love with me thats the difference..xx

Reen - Thanks I am really ok though..xx