Saturday, 13 October 2007

I aint no nice girl

I think I am turning into the bitch from hell, what is it with me and men Portly Chap is devastated and I really don't know what to say to him.

He has convinced himself I didn't go out last night because of him and he is so wrong but whatever I say he won't believe me.

I told him right from the off I would hurt him and made no promises so why do I feel so shit about it all now.

All I seem to do is hurt the lovely ones, one after another and the bastards just hurt me.

I really didn't realise how hard I can be until earlier today but I have been honest and I always will be if it's not right I am not one to go with flow and hope things improve.

One of the guys from the rugby pub who always rings me on a Friday night to get me to go out rang me last night late on to give me a run down of the goings on in the pub whilst I wasn't there, I talked to him for about half an hour then when I put the phone down I got a text asking me if I fancied going out next Friday and I replied whose going and he said just me and him.

I said I didn't want to because of all that had gone on with the others, (I don't fancy him anyway, obviously I didn't tell him that though).

His reply was you tried Mr A and Tony so why am I not good enough.....the twat there was really no need for that and he has probably just lost a friendship too, I didn't deserve that and he was bang out of order.

I didn't even reply to the text just went to bed and to sleep instead. He has texted this morning apologising for it but that's not the point he must have thought it to say it.

Portly Chap says he isn't going out tonight either because he can't face seeing me, I have already told him I am staying in anyway and he shouldn't stay out of his local for me....I am sure landlady would rather have him than me as he spends twice as much as me in there and after the floods she needs all the money she can get, it's still not picked up after losing the last weekend in July, people are very fickle they just find somewhere else and move on.

I do feel for her though because she is quiet until midnight then all the regulars come back in but don't drink much because they have drunk it all somewhere else. If it was busy the rest of the night she could shut the doors at 11pm and not let anymore in but its not so she is in a bit of a catch 22.

Oh well after upsetting the male population of my surroundings I will see what happens tonight, remind me not to shag my mechanic I can't afford to lose his charms and abilities at looking after my car....


EBEZP said...

It isn't all you you know Em? proven by the overnight text and it really does seem to me that Mr Portly doesn't hear what you're saying too well!
Not your fault but maybe your problem!!
Trouble is you are up against the male ego all the time aren't you?

Enjoy if you can the rest of the weekend Em.

Lady in red said...

this is why I don't date anyone from my town. not that I go anywhere anyway. But I couldn't be doing with worrying about bumping into any of the men I have shagged. the only fly in the ointment is SF still living fairly close. I wont go to any of the pubs he uses.
my problems with former fb's are seeing them online but thats not too bad as I just block them if they become persistent.

If you were a bitch you wouldn't care about hurting their feelings...the fact that you do care shows that you are far from being a bitch.....don't beat yourself up over it.

Miss Understood said...

So what did you do on Saturday night? NO X FACTOR! Thats's just wrong!

Emma said...

Si - I hear what your saying...xx

Lady - Good idea you have there...xx

Miss - See the next post..xx