Friday, 26 October 2007

Can I do this?

Ok, I know I removed the last post but I thought as long as I didn't quote anyone or make examples I should be safe letting you all know how today went.

I am not sure how to react or even what is really expected of me but I left the meeting wishing that I had taken more notice at school and continued on to get a university degree, because the kind of things he is asking of me are way way above anything I have done before.

He is looking to have a senior management team in place by the end of December and says he believes I can be part of that because I have the potential, I am though not too sure if this is because he thinks this will bull me up and kick me forward into what he wants.

So now I have to start process mapping and leading my team more efficiently, I have done some reading up on the process mapping and I am looking forward to starting this next week, I really want to be able to get hold of this and do it, I am just lacking in confidence that I can actually do it.

He has said if I feel this isn't what I want there will still be a job for me, but I am not really sure about that one at all.

This restructuring hasn't had any casualties yet but I am sure some are on the way, just hope I aren't the first.

I would really like to be successful with this though because my boss is a massive influence on me and someone I would love to emulate, I suppose I just don't have the faith in myself to carry out what is required.

I used to think for myself and be proactive but I got so knocked back in my last job that I believed in the end I wasn't capable of it and I have unknowingly now brought this into this job.

I am sorry if I am waffling a bit here but it's all been quite a lot to take in as my performance review was based on what he wants me to be not what I am at the moment so the scoring was very low.

I have to now decide if this is the path I want to follow or move on to something else, I have no idea what the something else might be though.

I even stayed in again tonight because I wanted to try and sort things out in my head without clouding my judgement.

I have done a lot of trawling about on the Internet and I have found some valuable information which I can use from next week.

Right enough of all that, the weekend starts here, work head off and on to this weekends challenge, I don't know who that will be yet but I am sure there is one out there for me.


Lady in red said...

If your boss has not said he doesnt think you can do it why should you?

have faith in yourself :-)

Emma said...

Thanks Lady, I know I am still low in confidence though and I didn't realise it until today....xx

Lady in red said...

I am working on my confidence right now.

sorry I didn't warn you about my spiders. Apparently there was a program about them last night

hope you have a great weekend x

EBEZP said...

As lady says Em there are a lot of positive signs in what your boss has said and if he is going to be supporting you and bringing you on to a management team he obviously knows you can do it!
You must at least go for it because otherwise you'll never know then watch your confidence levels rise!!
Looking for something else would be wrong right now and really wouldn't do you any good!
So there!!
Don't think too much about it over the weekend you must enjoy your own time and be refreshed when you go back in.
Only want to hear how you get on with your 'challenges' right not about all the work aids you've discovered on the internet?!

Anonymous said...

I would have loved to have been a team leader in my past two call centre jobs, both of which I could do with my eye shut. My first team leader at the council was useless, me and most of the team thought that, he didn’t do half the things he was suppose to and when he left for another job it became apparent he didn’t even have records on us or any information or feedback from our calls.

I am a really organised person and I feel I could do well in creating a good team and supporting them, but I am the kind of person who always get bypassed for the good things and overlooked. I think this is why I hated my jobs so much I was never seen as someone to ask to do little things!

I am certain Emma you will do well, you could across as a great person and I would love to have you as my boss! Good Luck! xx

Miss Understood said...

Process mapping? Bugger. Is that fancy little shapes with words in? And arrows and stuff? LoL.

The thing may people in higher management really get off on carrying around briefcases, using fancy terminology which no one really understands, and intimidating people.

At the end of the day, all he wants is for you to know where the business is heading and how you're gonna get there. Forget the posh words...nod your head at him...and just do what you already know how to do. You'll be great. x x

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Hon, it will all work out in the end. just party your butt off tonight and forget about it till monday.

Emma said...

Lady - Thanks again and you too...xx

Si - I have never been very good on the confidence side, I come across as being this ultimate confident independant person but on the inside I just need a cuddle..xx

Alison - What a lovely thing to say I do enjoy being a boss and I suppose I do need to look to secure my future at some point so why not here.xx

Miss - You are so right thanks, they just flower things up and make them sound important..xx

Vi - Yep I probably can do it, at least I am going to try to, FMB's on and out I go.....couple of pints and I will be fine..xx

EBEZP said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
EBEZP said...

Come and have a cuddle at mine anytime over the weekend then!! Could be fun!

Anonymous said...

you can do it, its hard at first, but you soon grow into it, its all about getting used to giving people objectives, and supporting them, most team leaders (dont do that), but you have to, and you have to continually ask how they are doing, making monthly/quarterly notes. Talking to them all the way through, and taking notes on what you say to each, and letting them see what you have both agree. Helping them grow, as you grow. I think thats what your boss is trying to do with you. x

Emma said...

Thanks Si, and Wayne that's exactly what it is all about and I have been doing it most of my working life, just appear to have lost my confidence with this job..xx