Thursday, 31 May 2007

White spider

Miss U mentioned in her post about her fear of spiders, I thought I would share one of my experiences with a spider.

I had just moved in with my first partner and he was out at the pub, I went upstairs to use the bathroom and as I approached the landing I felt a presence from my eye corner, presence? as miss says this bugger had boots on. It was just sat between the skirting board and the carpet in the bedroom doorway and I swear it was staring at me.

Well when I spotted it I froze on the spot and started sweating profusely, I was also busting for a wee so needed to take some action soon.

The bathroom was in the opposite direction to the bedroom so I gingerly made my way towards it in search of something to either hit it with or spray at it, I pulled down my trousers and sat on the loo and sat there absolutely terrified that the bloody thing was going to run in the bathroom whilst I was sat as you can imagine I got fear wee....when you really want to go but something is stopping you.

I seemed to sit there for an age before something eventually happened and when it did I jumped off the loo really quickly and grabbed the nearest thing to hand which was a deordorant bottle, spray, at first I thought I would get quite close up and hit the spider with the can, oh no I couldn't get within 10 foot of it without sweating and shaking, so the next idea was to spray the spider but again I was terrified in case it ran at me as I was spraying it.

So there I am grabbing the steps from the back bedroom, climbing right to the top and spraying it with deordorant from above, of course as predicted this made it run straight for the stairs, I remember thinking I didn't want it to get out of sight so just kept spraying it till eventually it almost stuck to the stair carpet, I climbed down the steps and went into the original bedroom to grab one of partners shoes to wack it with, (they where bigger than mine), so treading very carefully walked towards the spider with the shoe and went to hit it, but my fear wouldn't let me get close enough, so I had another thought and put my foot in the shoe thinking it would have more weight if I stood on it rather than wacked it.

Again gingerly towards it one foot in one of his shoes, I couldn't get near enough now though because it was right up against the back of the stair, I also had visions of it running up my leg as I attempted to stamp on it.

By this time I was completely chewed up and everytime it tried to move I got the spray out again, the stair carpet and the spider where completely white by now.

Bear in mind all of the above probably happened over a two hour period because there where a lot of pauses in between where I couldn't do anything.

Eventually not being able to get near with the shoe I sprayed even more to make sure it was stuck fast, jumped down three steps to miss it and went for the Henry, (hoover), crept back up the stairs with Henry removed the brush bar and left the hose at its longest so I could reach from a distance to hoover it up, yipee it had gone up the hoover first go, so I am stood there with the hoover running just to make sure it won't come out again for about five minutes.

Unplugged the Hoover and carried it outside, shut the door and went back in and curled up on the settee and cried like a baby. I don't think I have ever got myself so overwraught about anything in my life.

Partner came home about 15 minutes after all this and as he walked in, he said what's Henry doing outside and promptly brought him in, I screamed like a banshee at him to please take it back outside and the twat just laughed at me when I told him why....he never did get the gist of it at all.

I suppose though it must have taught me something because even though they still make me cringe I don't have any hesitation with them meeting the Dyson, the best part of which is you can actually see they are dead inside.

I may sound like a spider sadist but I have to get them out of the way and there is no way on this earth I could possibly pick one up.

Holly is the worst though because she just plays with them batting them across the laminate floor, I do still have that feeling though that they are around before I see them.

Right!! Bed now, try not to have nightmares, remember they are very few and far between..


EBEZP said...

You shouldn't go scaring yourself just before you go to bed.
Have you any idea how big we look to a spider by the way now that must be really scarey!

Emma said...

I know Wilko, busy day tomorrow too so lets hope I don't dream of the bloody thing....small or not I have a real fear of them....and don't even go there with snakes...xx

Miss Understood said...

Oh poor thing. I used to be that bad...

Well, I still am....but I can actually get them out now, and put them outside. (A big mug, and a stiff piece of card.)

The first time I did it, I felt like a superhero!

Vi vi vi vooom!!!!!!!! said...

Oh, poor Charlotte! Spiders in this country are completely harmless Emma. (And they can survive hoovers, but at least you can see if they are dead in a dyson!)

How the hell would you cope in OZ, where spiders are the size of your hand? I'm going to have to find a picture of a huntsman spider for you, that scare the willies out of you, but should me you appreciate how tiny they are here!

TooFatToFly said...

I can sympathise with you here, Emma as I hate spiders too!

Mind you, I am able to trap them in a glass (as miss understood described) and then dump them outside, LOL. My fear isn't so intense as you described.

There's no way that I could actually pick one up in my hands though!

I'm quite a softy when it comes to *All creatures great & small* so I try not to kill anything if I can possibly help it, LOL

Hugs to you...

Lins xx

Emma said...

Miss and Lins - I can't get that close to them i'm afraid..x

Vi - Austrailia is one place I have always wanted to go but must admit the spiders and snakes put me off...xx

Girl*Next*Door said...

Oooooh I hate spiders too. In the farmhouse we used to live in there was always spiders about but one particular night when I was walking down the hallway to my room I heard this 'tap tap tap' & looked up to see the biggest hairiest spider ever, Im not joking, you could HEAR it walk along the wall!!!! Anyway being the wimp I am I called my sister to get the broom & both clutching onto each other & being typical girl's we knocked it down off the wall with the broom & whacked it with the end, then trod on it to make sure it was properly dead! It was that big you could hear it hit the wood floor, like somebody had dropped something *shudder*

Girl*Next*Door said...

Oh, & I use the spray thing to, especially Impulse body sprays, it seems to freeze them. I know it's cruel but if it stops them running at me then I'm all for it!