Feeling Flat

Having a very flat day today, it is hard to descibe other than nothing seems to interest me today, it is a kind of stop the world I want to get off feeeling coupled with losing the will to live. Not in a suicidal kind of way just can't see any point in anything at the moment.

I am not happy with having no emotions I think I would rather feel up and down than just flat and uninterested.

Just as I think I am gaining some ground and might get nearer to going back to work I have a day like today when I have the attention span of a sparrow and don't really listen or take in what people are saying, I bet they are getting fed up of me asking them to repeat themselves all the time, it's not that I don't listen, I do, it's just I can't seem to take things in at the moment and the thought of having to do anything under pressure scares the shit out of me.

I have my first weekend away a fortnight today and at this moment in time I won't be going, the thought of being away from my safe place for the night just terrifies me. But we will see if I am still writing the same in a fortnights time, I hope not and hope I have got the courage to do it by then and also enjoy it but we will see!!