I just had to post this!!
I received this the other day and just had to post it...
An Earthquake measuring 5.3 on the Richter scale hit Kingston upon Hull this Wednesday morning. The epicentre was Bransholme. Casualties were seen wandering aimlessly.
The earthquake decimated the area causing in excess of £17.55 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Ibiza, Corfu, Rhyll and Blackpool were damaged beyond repair. Preserved areas of historic importance were destroyed and cars burned out. Many locals were woken before their Giro’s arrived. One resident, Kylie Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of four said “It was such a f**ckin shock, little Chardonnay-Destiny came running into my bedroom crying; my hands were shaking that much I could hardly light up.”
The British Red Cross has so far managed to send 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found numerous “Elizabeth Duke” sovereign rings, benefit books and Poundstretcher ornaments.
How can you help?
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster.
Clothing is most sought after. Urgently needed are Lacoste tracksuits, white socks, Burberry caps, Beanie hats and Rockports.
Food parcels are also needed, they include McCain oven chips, Aldi Beans, Monster Munch and Iceland pizza.
Alcohol is also in short supply, especially White Lightening Cider and Special Brew.
Cash donations are also needed.
22p buys a signing-on’ biro,
£2.50 buys a Jumbo sausage dinner,
£20.00 buys a fake MOT,
£16.00 buys 200 Regal from the back of Tomo’s lorry.
An Earthquake measuring 5.3 on the Richter scale hit Kingston upon Hull this Wednesday morning. The epicentre was Bransholme. Casualties were seen wandering aimlessly.
The earthquake decimated the area causing in excess of £17.55 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from Ibiza, Corfu, Rhyll and Blackpool were damaged beyond repair. Preserved areas of historic importance were destroyed and cars burned out. Many locals were woken before their Giro’s arrived. One resident, Kylie Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of four said “It was such a f**ckin shock, little Chardonnay-Destiny came running into my bedroom crying; my hands were shaking that much I could hardly light up.”
The British Red Cross has so far managed to send 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found numerous “Elizabeth Duke” sovereign rings, benefit books and Poundstretcher ornaments.
How can you help?
This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster.
Clothing is most sought after. Urgently needed are Lacoste tracksuits, white socks, Burberry caps, Beanie hats and Rockports.
Food parcels are also needed, they include McCain oven chips, Aldi Beans, Monster Munch and Iceland pizza.
Alcohol is also in short supply, especially White Lightening Cider and Special Brew.
Cash donations are also needed.
22p buys a signing-on’ biro,
£2.50 buys a Jumbo sausage dinner,
£20.00 buys a fake MOT,
£16.00 buys 200 Regal from the back of Tomo’s lorry.
7 comments:
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's hilarious!!! xx
VBF - You don't know how true it is is some areas..lol..xx
we have areas like that here......my youngest son worries about his older brothers if they are out after dark incase they come across these people
That was so funny.... lol I laughed my socks off! :)
LiR - It's not good is it? It's is an exageration though there are a lot of good people on the estate..xx
Moose - Yes 200 weeks has written an essex version on his blog..xx
This is soooo funny! I think I may have to print it out for future reference, LOL
Lins xx
Lins - I thought it was great too..xx
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