Happy Birthday
Ok this is a bit of a drunken post but today is widower's birthday, he will be 46, I have sent him a text message earlier but I have a feeling he is away.
Last night I dreamt about this guy, this guy was the one stable thing in my life last year until he decided he couldn't cope and still loved his wife, I never expected for a minute that he didn't still love his wife but I did also believe he loved me, he did in his own way I am sure, but it wasn't enough, a year on and pissed I still love this guy and would give up everything up for him.
He touched me in a way that no one else has done for a very long time, I never honestly thought that a year after we split I would still be in love with him, but I am and that's what is so hard to accept.
I know I have had a few pints along with Tangeray and Cranberry but yes even after all this time I can admit I still love him and probably always will in some way.
OMG. what have I just admitted to, that I am human and do really have feelings, yep that's me warts and all and the reason why I have been just shagging around for the last year. because this guy hurt me, hurt me like never before, why I let him I have no idea but I did and he has left everlasting scars...
I wrote this for him:
I would like to know
If I am in your heart
If our love will grow
Or will we part
I have all the time
To wait for you to say
Will there ever come a day
You will want me in your life
I understand you feel pain
But as long as I have something to gain
I will hold on to the dream
That one day I will mean
As much to you as you me
But hey what will be will be
Until that day here I will stay
Or should I say I pray
That one day we will be together
To share the love that I give
It may not be forever
But who knows how we will both live
You have stared something in me
That I though was long gone
But we will just have to see
If this love can be strong
Please take your time
While I hold your hand
We will walk the line
Until we hear the band
Of our love as it unites
Even as a token
Also never far out of sight
That one day it could be broken
You have my love in your control
Its yours to take with all your heart
As hand in hand we will stroll
And hopefully never ever part
Last night I dreamt about this guy, this guy was the one stable thing in my life last year until he decided he couldn't cope and still loved his wife, I never expected for a minute that he didn't still love his wife but I did also believe he loved me, he did in his own way I am sure, but it wasn't enough, a year on and pissed I still love this guy and would give up everything up for him.
He touched me in a way that no one else has done for a very long time, I never honestly thought that a year after we split I would still be in love with him, but I am and that's what is so hard to accept.
I know I have had a few pints along with Tangeray and Cranberry but yes even after all this time I can admit I still love him and probably always will in some way.
OMG. what have I just admitted to, that I am human and do really have feelings, yep that's me warts and all and the reason why I have been just shagging around for the last year. because this guy hurt me, hurt me like never before, why I let him I have no idea but I did and he has left everlasting scars...
I wrote this for him:
I would like to know
If I am in your heart
If our love will grow
Or will we part
I have all the time
To wait for you to say
Will there ever come a day
You will want me in your life
I understand you feel pain
But as long as I have something to gain
I will hold on to the dream
That one day I will mean
As much to you as you me
But hey what will be will be
Until that day here I will stay
Or should I say I pray
That one day we will be together
To share the love that I give
It may not be forever
But who knows how we will both live
You have stared something in me
That I though was long gone
But we will just have to see
If this love can be strong
Please take your time
While I hold your hand
We will walk the line
Until we hear the band
Of our love as it unites
Even as a token
Also never far out of sight
That one day it could be broken
You have my love in your control
Its yours to take with all your heart
As hand in hand we will stroll
And hopefully never ever part
How pissed was I? I didn't even remember posting this until I read it this morning....still not 100% sure I have taken contacts out yet either..
5 comments:
Your poem is beautiful.
I am so sorry you have a broken heart. I know the pain of that. Lost love is very painful. But I also believe there is beauty in the love you experienced that is never lost. That will live with you forever. I wish I could put my arms around you, that is my instinct when I know someone is hurting. Time heals but some wounds just never heal completely, do they?
And Honey, I am so happy about the job. YAY!!!
xo
Thanks Reen, I wouldn't swap a minute of the time we spent together and I will always try to remember the good times.
Time does heal and we do still mix in the same circles but we have had closure in France earlier in the year so we are ok.
He will always be a friend and that's all I can have..x
((((HUGS))))
Thanks Cheeky, I am ok with it now..xx
Hugs x
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